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Realizing I was Bi and Pan

Summer after freshman year of high school, I watched a show called MTV’s Scream tv series. There was a character named Audrey Jensen in the show, who was bi-curious. I became obsessed with her.

She had short hair, a pixie cut, was a badass, and was the wonderful friend to virgin nerd, Noah Foster, who was also the love of my LIFE. I was attracted to both of them, and that was how I realized I was bi.

I had been attracted to other females before, especially the beautiful Katie McGrath (from Merlin, Jurassic World, and Supergirl).

But this was different. It never registered until then.

Scream explored Audrey’s sexuality, and in a way, helped me explore mine.

The actress, Bex Taylor-Klaus, later came out as a lesbian and a queer individual who identifies as both a male and female, using they/them pronouns.

They are a queer icon and role model for me. I hope to be as boldly unashamed and proud of my only my sexuality but myself in general.

I never really had a full coming out moment. I came out to my friends and they all accepted me. Later I found out what panromantic meant, and talked to my trans best friend, Jake, about it. He helped me realize that along with being bi, I may also be pan, and that I could call myself whatever made me feel comfortable.

My boyfriend has always been supportive of me and my sexuality. And coming out to my dad and step-mom was a bit weird, it was fine and they have both been supportive.

I still get anxiety about leaving the house in any pride paraphernalia. Maybe I’ll leave with a pin or a piece of jewelry, but almost never with a shirt or something bold. I had leggings that looked pretty bi (they were tye-dyed pink, blue, purple, and white) but was too scared to wear them in public.

But I’m getting there. I’m starting to feel more comfortable in my own sexuality and doing my best to help others feel the same.

Comment your lgbt realization or coming out story below.

Til next time!

~Amanda Full Of Roses

2 Responses to “Realizing I was Bi and Pan”

  1. PoojaG

    I’m glad you were able to come out and had supportive family and friends. I have had a pretty similar experience and kind of feel scared of looking/dressing in a way that shows my sexuality but I’m getting better at it.


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